I wanted him to penetrate me

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You came looking for honest advice so wanted to jump in and give you some, you know, honest advice. I remember having this problem personally and friends of mine having the same issue. But still, I can't shake that fear. You could go read up on vaginismus. I might hae a couple mirrors in my house lol. Questions Is there any pain or pressure when he tries to enter you?

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And try guiding him in at the beginning, it helps.

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You won't get anywhere if you sit in the frustration, and if you do it definitely won't be worth it. I've had that issue in my relationship, with us more foreplay and relaxing was the key. Seriously, it has to be forced in, and it might hurt. Once your fingers are in, force them apart and try to "let down" to allow your vagina to expand. Sometimes its 5 minutes.

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